I dont get it

Another one of my students passed away this week. He was a seventh grader. I met him as a sixth grader who was in small ammounts of trouble. We helped him turn around and get back on track. He was riding a motorcycle and lost control and hit a car. The side mirror hit his face and sent bones into his brain. He died instantly. I dont understand why I do the things I do. Why I did so many stupid things and am still here. He makes a mistake and he is gone. Every once in a while i wish i could know and understand Gods thoughts. What made this a good thing. I think the part that is killing me the most is I do not know if he was saved or not. Never even came up. So, again, why am i doing what i do. I know God knows what He is doing...i just wish i did