another year older

I dread this time of year. My birthday is right around the corner. I used to hate my birthday because of an entire ordeal brought on by my grandmother over my adoption. Now i hate it because i feel like a failure. Yes, i know, God dont make no junk, but this feeling comes from the external forces that the world places on us. I know, God is more important. It would appear that i struggle with world alot. Let me explain.

1) Im going to be 37 and do not have a career.
This is pretty high up on my problems. I am going to be 37 and i have been messing around in college for far too long. My 2 year degree took 3. My bachelors took 11. Thats 14 years for a 4 year degree. Next week i begin working on my masters in professional counseling. Who knows how long this will take, although history would suggest that i should finish it by the time i am 60. Also, i started college as a music major, switched to criminal justice, then to air conditioning, then to christian ministry, and now, professional counseling.

2) I am supposed to be a provider.
I will have been married for 10 years this summer. For one part of our first year of marriage i was the main moneymaker. Ever since, my wife has made significantly more than me. I normally would not care, but the world teaches us that men are supposed to provide for our families. strike 2

3) My health sucks.
Last year i had a fake heart attack, supposed liver problems, severe illness, bad back, bad knees, a ridiculously high blood pressure. You are supposed to get less healthy. That scares me.

I hate birthdays. well, just one birthday. Prayin God changes this heart.

Keanu Reeves does not care that at this rate my son and i may finish college at the same time.